I'd be lying if I said I didn't have designs on you.
Okay, so a lot of good stuff has happened over the past few weeks, but I think that it is best told to everyone over Thanksgiving and such. You can also call me. Or you can send me telepathic inquiries.
There would be more posts on the blog, but I am pretty busy and I'm sure most of you are finding amusing things on your own. If not, I recommend reading Blog and FLOG.
I hope all of you are doing well and not in another dimension fighting evil space warlords and all that. Word.
posted by Sho | 11:05 PM |
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Eugene Five-O, Part I
(names have been changed because I wanted them to be changed)
So Tuesday started with waking up at 6 a.m. to get to the Eugene police station at 7:15 a.m. for my ride-along with Officer Bob.
Officer Bob, a seven-year veteran of the Eugene Police Department, was tall, with the athletic build of a soldier and a military-style haircut atop his head. He was, in fact, a retired Army sergeant with 15 years of service and a veteran of the Persian Gulf War.
Actually, he kind of looked like the janitor from "Scrubs" except with arms that could crush my head.
He turned out to be a pretty nice guy who's seen a lot of the world. He talked a lot about living in the snow-covered hills of northern Japan and experiencing the mix of Japanese and native culture on the island of Okinawa. He spoke of admiring centuries of historical sites in Germany and staring up at the night sky in the deserts of Saudi Arabia (where he said he had never seen the stars shine so brightly before, even in rural areas in America.)
He was pretty knowledgeable about military history and we talked about how Japanese Americans were treated during World War II and the volunteers who joined the Army to fight the Axis in Germany, and also those who worked in military intelligence and translation in the Pacific.
We also talked about politics and how he felt President Bush was hypocritical in his actions towards the military by praising the bravery of the men and women fighting overseas, but cutting a lot of veterans benefits. Even though he had voted Republican in previous elections (except he did vote for Gore in 2000), he felt let down by Bush. So, he said felt as though Gen. Wesley Clark would be his choice for the next president, although he added that if Clark didn't win the nomination, that he would make a good VP.
Oh yeah, so the good stuff:
We cruised the Whitaker neighborhood (notorious for its rampant drug use and prostitution) and as we passed by a woman who looked like a bag-lady Officer Bob said, "Oh, there's One-Eye."
One-Eye?
"Yeah, well, she only has one eye. Oh, and she's a prostitute," he said.
Prostitute?
"Well, you know the Julia Roberts movie, 'Pretty Woman?'"
Yeah?
"It's nothing like that out here."
I shuddered.
We kept driving along until he spotted an American Indian with greying hair walking down the street.
"Oh, there's Jenny Black Crow," he said. "I should probably run her name through the computer and check to see if there's anything on her.
"Whoops, she's got a warrant on her for shoplifting."
He checks the traffic around us, of which there is none, and does a u-turn.
"Stay here, she's a runner."
He jumps out of the car and I watch him approach her.
"Hey Theresa, I need to talk to you."
To be continued (This is taking longer than I thought, and I want to go to $2 Any Drink Night at Buster's. I'll get it done sooner or later.)
posted by Sho | 6:06 PM |
I guess the director worked on Mortal Kombat (which spawned the techno theme song that ruled the airwaves back in '95, urgh), Event Horizon (which freaked me out until midway through the movie when it just turned into a gorefest), and Resident Evil (which I have heard is okay, but I haven't seen it)... so I don't have extremely high hopes for the movie to be as good as a film like Alien, an action classic like Aliens, or a dark, brooding film like Alien 3 (which wasn't quite as satisfactory as its predecessors). Resurrection (not the new Tupac documentary) had a lame plot, but I did enjoy the movie's sense of design (ala City of Lost Children).
You can tell that I love my parentheses.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure it will be fun and mindless and involve a lot of Alien and Predator steamy lovin' action, which I'll probably be willing to dish out $6 for. That is, if I actually have a job and $6 come next August.
Maybe add another $3 for popcorn.
Oh yeah, the police ride-along was pretty neat. I may post details tomorrow.
posted by Sho | 11:25 PM |
Monday, November 10, 2003
Eugene Five-O
I'm going on a police ride-along tomorrow morning as part of an assignment for my advanced reporting class at 7:15 a.m. This is extremely early for me and I know all you 8-5ers are probably rolling your eyes right now... but screw you!
Screw you and your steady jobs!
Did you hear me? Screw you!
Officer Bob and I are going to have a blast cruising the mean streets of Eugene at 7:15 a.m. in the morning while you go grab coffee and a bagel on your way to your boring 8 to 5 cubicle corporate slave job. We're going to bust up heroin trafficking rings and take out pimps with karate chops and flying kicks to the head. I'm sure one of us will have to tackle someone into a swimming pool in slow motion. It will be rad.
At the end of the day, we'll have some coffee at Dunkin' Donuts and talk about how things are going with the wife and kids.
Oh yeah, it's going to be a good day, with Officer Bob.
posted by Sho | 11:46 PM |
Some sage advice
on being a teacher, from my reporting professor:
"Number one, whenever you're holding office hours, leave the door open whether or not the student is male or female.
Number two, never touch a student, even if it is something as innocent as a pat on the back.
Number three, if you're a guy, always make sure that your fly is zipped up before teaching your class.
We have no idea what to do about this, but I think that's okay.
We're going to go feed the ducks this weekend, and I think they deserve some bread for all the flinging around that they've been going through.
posted by Sho | 1:55 AM |
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
This car will kick your ass
I remember seeing this car around graduation time back in high school. I think we were headed to the Civic Auditorium or Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall for a graduation ceremony practice when we saw the car. It looked like it was made of granite and had a weird demon face on the back. Well, looks like I found its home on the internet. The owner appears to be a extreme clown artist, which makes sense in some sort of random way.
The World Beard and Moutache Championships took place yesterday in Carson City, Nevada to the excitement of hairy men all over the globe. Such interesting moustache categories include the "Fu Manchu," "Wild West" and "Dali" divisions. Beards (and goatees) include the "Musketeer".
One wonders how some men can become so involved with such a hobby. Take a look at the competition in 2001; apparently the Kaiser still lives.
PS There should be a cats with hats world-wide competition because it's hilarious to see cats looking totally pissed off.
posted by Sho | 11:30 AM |
